


In Your Dreams

by exclarare



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, Lemons, Love Triangles, Multi, Romantic Comedy, So many lemons, Some angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 20:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exclarare/pseuds/exclarare
Summary: (previously titled 'Only Dreaming' on Lunaescence and Ghosts of the Vanguard)It's taboo. It's exciting. It's totally inappropriate. But apparently, that isn't enough to stop it from happening night after night.Haruka x Reader(?)





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> Updated Author's Notes: It's important to note that I have *not* watched... well, anything that has come after Eternal Summer. And this story was started when only episode *four* of the very first series was out. As new content came out I tried to align the story's events to at least take place after season 1, but anything that happened after High Speed!(which I did read) and Makoto and Haruka's middle school years will probably not align with the story that's out now AT ALL. Just a warning. I do plan to update this story when my personal life and mental illness takes a breather, but for now, I wanted to throw it up here. You know... since Lunaescence is a doing a thing right now. Here are my original notes when I started this story back in 2013 (don't judge me)
> 
> Original Author's Notes: Let me just go on record and say I am taking this story about as seriously as KyoAni(2019 note: HOPE YOU'RE DOIN OK KYOANI) takes Free!.
> 
> Which means not at all.
> 
> Still, here I am, trying my hand at multi-chaptered stories again. This is really aimed at the comedy genre, not romance. There just happens to be a lot of porn thrown into the mix. (That's going to get more detailed with passing chapters, by the way.)
> 
> Basically I'm going to make this as ridiculous as I want, within the reader's dream world. And we'll see what happens from there. Obviously I want to move the sex into the real world, but... Haruka seems ridiculously difficult to seduce. I'm gonna need lots of time for this one. Probably. HA. I don't know.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy your swimmer porn.

The sun was setting, its descent beyond the horizon painting the sky and the ocean below it in tropical oranges and yellows. The wind blew, just strong enough to lift the ends of your hair, and save for the rhythmic crashing of the water on the shoreline, the beach was quiet.  
  
Well, almost.  
  
The gentle silence was broken by a sudden and sharp whimper. And another--In fact, if one didn't know better, they might think someone was in pain, curled up alone on the sand. But there was no mistaking the long, drawn-out moan that followed for anything other than what it actually was.  
  
And that is why you were relieved that the beach was suspiciously vacant on this fine, _fine_ summer evening.  
  
Another shuddery moan forced its way past your lips as the next wave of pleasure overtook you, and in a futile attempt to stifle those embarrassing sounds, you clenched your bottom lip tightly between your teeth. The man above you did not relent in the slightest, startlingly blue eyes peering unflinchingly into yours as his hands willed yet another desperate gasp out of you.  
  
Your eyes were drawn to his like they were magnets, so you didn't miss the way his pupils dilated when you breathed out his name. His mouth opened for a moment before shutting once more and you wondered briefly if he'd intended to say something. The thought was quickly discarded, however, as you noticed just how dark his lips were. Did your own look the same?  
  
He must have noticed your staring at his lips, as it took all of about three seconds for them to come crashing into yours. Your arms around his neck tightened and your eyes closed instinctively even as his own remained fixed on you. Slender fingers slid home once more and you felt the subtle vibration of a groan against your lips as your body shuddered around him.  
  
Steady, relentless digits curled against your inner walls and--oh god, he'd found it _again_. He swallowed the sharp moan that came unbidden from your throat, and once more when the pad of his thumb brushed against that sensitive bundle of nerves. At this rate, he was going to have you writhing beneath him yet again, and you didn't think you could bear to give him the satisfaction.  
  
You tore away from the kiss, stammering out his name, attempting in vain to speak coherently even as his fingers continue to move against you diligently.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
His voice was cool, but not cold. Level and calm--but that was just the kind of person he was. Though he seemed dispassionate at first glance, a quick glance down and between his legs indicated that he was anything but. His hand finally stalled, and his warm breath fanned out against your face in short puffs from his nose--as if being forced to stop took more effort than actually pleasuring you--  
  
What were you going to say again? Silence reigned supreme between the two of you as you struggled to remember and your companion waited, surprisingly patient. The cool ocean waves lapped against your feet as they broke upon the shore, merely white noise to you. But the man above you shut his eyes in silent appreciation of the sound.  
  
Despite your body's raging desire to let your lover finish what he'd started--for the third time--you crawled out from under him. Even without looking directly at him, you were still painfully aware of his electric blue eyes watching you, and when you met his gaze he tilted his head as if to silently ask you--  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Or he could actually be asking it out loud. Same thing, really. You rested a hand upon his cheek, pretending that you weren't embarrassed by the way it shook, and pulled him in for another kiss. His response was immediate. After adjusting his position, strong, well-muscled arms jerked you into his lap. His hands took you by the hips and moved you against him in a smooth motion that had _both_ of you moaning. How disappointing that your attempt to turn the tables on him had ended in failure; even with him beneath you, you were still doing things on his terms.  
  
But given that he'd finally lost that insufferable poker face, it was hard to feel all that upset about it.  
  
After a soft nibble against your bottom lip, he managed to pull his lips away from yours and looked up at you with a gaze so steamy it could have cooked broccoli. His voice was low and quiet, and though that in itself wasn't very unusual, the way he nearly growled when he spoke sent a rush of heat straight to your loins.  
  
"Again."  
  
You shuddered against him and complied, grinding your hips against his and biting your lip when his arms around your waist coiled tighter. His lips found your neck, and he dragged his tongue along your pulse. Another thrust, and he whispered something inaudible into your skin. You could feel the fabric of his swimsuit straining against his erection, and you thought you should probably get that off of him--...  
  
"Ha-Haru--!" The name was ripped from between your darkened, sensitive lips as he took one of your breasts into his hand and closed his mouth over the stiffened peak. Again, you rolled your hips against his, burying your fingers into his raven hair and crying out. And again. And again. Haruka's eyebrows knit tightly together and for a moment, it looked as though he was in pain. His breath came out in shuddery puffs, and his grip on your hip tightened in a silent plea to continue.  
  
"Please continue," he breathed out, not silently at all. You obeyed, throat tight and heartbeat banging against your ribcage as Haruka buried his face into your neck, nuzzling the heated skin in an almost affectionate way. He rocked his hips against yours, matching your rhythm. For that moment, all you wanted or needed to hear from him was his heavy breathing and quiet, sometimes nearly inaudible moans. At least, until he pulled away from your neck and spoke.  
  
"I love you more than I love swimming," he whispered, gazing deeply into your eyes. You stalled, heart pounding and breath catching.  
  
"Oh, Haru," you murmured, tearing up. This was it. All was right in the world. Things couldn't get any more perfect than this, could they?  
  
In the distance, you saw the silhouette of a dolphin leaping out of the water and doing a flip.  
  
Yes, _perfect_.  
  
Haruka's gaze intensified, and he pulled you in for a scorching kiss as you worked to rid him of that pesky swimwear. It was all you could do not to moan at the way his eyes closed tightly when your fingers curled around his hardened length. His lips parted, and in a hoarse voice, he whispered:  
  
"__(y/n)__..."  
  
Oh god, the way he said your name...  
  
"__(y/n)__!"  
  
...Well, that one actually sounded kind of angry but maybe you were being too rough with him. You opted for a more gentle touch.  
  
"You're drooling all over my table again."  
  
His _table_, huh? Is that what the kids were calling it nowadays?  
  
And what the heck was with that sharp poking on your face?  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
The world slowly came into focus, thanks in no small part to the insistent prodding against your cheek. Half of your face felt damp, but that was nothing compared to what you felt between your legs. Bleary-eyed, and only vaguely aware of Haru kneeling before you, you smacked your lips.  
  
When you finally were able to focus on those cerulean eyes, your own widened considerably. You sat up abruptly, the side of your face unsticking from the table, and hurried to wipe the drool off of your face. Haruka Nanase stood, dressed in his summer uniform and looking down at your undignified form quite unperturbed.  
  
"You didn't make it to the bedroom this time," he said simply, and due to the aftereffects of your dream, it took you a moment to decipher what he meant. The _guest bedroom_, not _his_ bedroom.  
  
That's right, you'd asked Haru if you could stay the night, hadn't you? His consent wasn't exactly enthusiastic, but a "do what you want" was still better than a "go home".  
  
"Hey."  
  
You jumped. "Y-Yes!"  
  
"I'm going ahead. Try not to be late, __(y/n)__." As if he was one to talk. It was only then you'd noticed the strap of his schoolbag slung across his chest. Without another word, Haru departed. For a moment, you could hear Makoto's voice, distant and muffled by the walls of the empty house, but soon that too faded, and the room quickly became so silent that it made your ears ring.  
  
_"I love you more than I love swimming..."_  
  
You felt as though you'd just been pranked. By yourself. _Really? Who even says something like that?_  
  
And since **when** did you have erotic dreams about Haru? You buried your suddenly burning face into your hands. You'd known Haru since middle school, but never in all that time--Sure, he had the kind of body that would shame Adonis, and the way he stretched languidly when doing his warm-ups sometimes made your throat dry occasionally like maybe when you looked directly at him which you didn't always do.  
  
Maybe it wasn't completely irrational, given Haru's sinfully sculpted swimmer's body and his overall cool and collected demeanor. But it still felt unnatural to think about. When the two of you had first met, you'd both been small children. When had you stopped seeing Haruka as a boy and starting seeing him as a man?  
  
Climbing to your feet and cursing under your breath at the weakness you felt in your knees, you moved around Haru's house slowly, getting yourself ready for school. You'd already resigned yourself to your fate as a chronically late student.  
  
You shivered as you exposed your skin to the open air, and you swore you could still feel Haru's fingertips ghosting over the hypersensitive flesh. The way his eyes had smoldered when looking into yours was burned into your mind, and you shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the image.  
  
This was _nothing_. Just a freak occurence, and you were sure you would forget all about it by tomorrow. After all, dreams like that didn't happen more than once or twice every couple of months.  
  
It wasn't as if this was just the start of a neverending string of wet dreams about Haru or anything.


	2. The Second Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still reeling from the dream where you got freaky with Haru, you gotta play it cool around your friends to avoid suspicion. Can't have everyone thinking you're a pervert.

To say that the school day that followed had been tense would have been a vast understatement. Despite assuring yourself before leaving Haru's house that it had been natural and had meant nothing, the dream you'd had of him the night before flashed forward to the surface of your mind whenever you so much as glanced at him. Making eye contact was even worse; every time your eyes locked all you could think about was how intense and focused his had been--a sort of passionate fixation you'd only ever spied while he was in the water. You'd never imagined what it might be like having that expression directed at you. Just thinking about it made your skin burn. You'd never managed to hold his gaze for more than a second or two.  
  
You didn't hang around to chat that day. Not with Haru and not with the others. You figured all you needed to do was keep your distance for a day. Maybe two. Give yourself enough time to forget that silly dream, and you knew hanging around Haru while he was clad in nothing but skin-tight jammers was not going to do you any favors.  
  
But before you could flee campus, you'd have to come up with an excuse to tell Makoto. You figured he was going to corner you anyway, given your strange behavior all day, so you'd just have to grit your teeth and approach him first. It looked less suspicious that way, anyway. The last thing you wanted was for Makoto's perceptive eyes to see that your sudden jitters were centered around his childhood friend. He would have no trouble piecing everything together then and you were certain he'd discover your lewd fantasies in no time! He'd tell Haru. Oh, he'd tell Haru, all right, and none of the swim team would want anything to do with a pervert like you!  
  
"Eh? A stomachache?" He peered down at you, brows furrowed and lips curved into a concerned frown. "I thought you'd seemed a little off today, but--..."  
  
"Y-Yeah! I've been fighting it all day!" You cut in a little too enthusiastically. "I just don't think I'll be able to make it down there to hang out with you guys this afternoon. I should probably just go home." And take a cold shower.  
  
"Is that all right? You live alone, don't you?" You bit your bottom lip, only too aware of where he was going with this. "Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself?"  
  
"M-Makoto-kun, it's just a little stomachache! You worry too much. And," you cut in as he opened his mouth to speak again, "I don't need to be walked home, either. I'm fine!"  
  
He stood there for a moment, green eyes boring into yours, and you were sure he wanted to press the matter further. You were both silent for a few seconds before Makoto's lips parted in a sigh and he conceded. His expression, however, stated plainly that he wasn't satisfied in the least. Of course, that was the way Makoto was. So concerned with everyone else that he never stopped to worry about himself.  
  
"You have my number, right? Can you at least let me know when you get home so I know you made it all right?" He asked, brows still knit together and eyes trained on you even as he reached over to his desk and pulled his schoolbag over his shoulder.  
  
"Of course, of course!" You heaved a sigh of your own and gestured to the clock hanging above the chalkboard. "Look at the time! I've gone and made you all late for swim club. Get going!" You chased him out of the classroom, arms waving in a shooing motion, while the (much) taller boy laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. He shot you one last concerned look, one that you matched with a stern gaze of your own, before he made his way down the hallway in a quick trot.  
  
You had the entire walk home to reflect upon just what kind of person Makoto was. Very giving. Very kind. And it made you feel all the worse for flat-out lying to him. You murmured an apology to him under your breath, but given that it would never reach his ears, it did little to assuage the guilt roosting in your heart.  
  
Shaking your head, you reminded yourself that the untruths had been a necessary evil. Just imagine how he'd have reacted if he'd known the truth!  
  
One day. That was all you needed. Just a day away from Haruka. No bare chests. No rippling muscles. No swimsuits that clung to his legs and left so little to the imagination--  
  
Something between a sigh and a groan forced its way past your lips as you burst through the door of your one-bedroom apartment and began to wonder if there was really any hope for you at all.  
  
The air inside was still--stuffy and warm from having been unoccupied for more than a day. It was small, and not in the best of shape, but not in the worst of it, either. Up until your last year of middle school, you had shared this space with your older brother while your parents were away on business. But he was in university now, in Tokyo. Which was fine. You could take care of yourself, anyway. You were sure that if he hadn't thought so, he wouldn't have left you here alone. Your mother and father were taking care of expenses, so all you had to do was take care of yourself.  
  
But you couldn't deny that at times, it became overwhelmingly lonely. You weren't like Haru; you didn't enjoy your time alone as much as he did his. And last night? Well, it had been so much fun at his house with everyone that the thought of going home to an empty apartment had been almost too painful to consider. Your heart had been pounding when you'd asked him if you could stay over, but he'd given in rather easy. Almost as if he'd been expecting you to ask. Of course, this wasn't the first time you'd crashed at his place to avoid going home, but it was quite unusual for him to consent with such little resistance. The first time you'd asked, in your first year of high school, you'd practically had to get on your knees and plead with him before he would yield.  
  
Perhaps the peculiar look in his eyes had been one of understanding. Or maybe it had been one of resignation. Maybe he'd just learned to accept your occasional intrusions on his solitude. Either way, you were grateful.  
  
And this. This was what your brain decided to do with all that gratitude?  
  
Your bag hit the floor with a dull thud! as your shoulders slumped. What were you going to do with yourself? You were sure that this was just your mind's way of telling you that you were attracted to Haru. Very, very attracted to Haru. But honestly, you'd caught yourself staring at the contours of his abdomen and back so many times that you really hadn't needed the lesson.  
  
But why only Haru?  
  
Maybe it was better not to dwell on things like that. Questions with answers that you weren't sure you wanted to know.  
  
Without even bothering to change out of your uniform, you trudged to the couch pressed against the far wall and curled up in the corner of it against the cushions.  
  
Time passed with you absorbed in your thoughts. It felt like it could have been hours, but you were fairly certain only a few minutes had passed.  
  
"Maybe," you spoke aloud, "I should get a book... or something." Yes, that sounded like just the distraction you needed. However, your feet had only just hit the floor when there were two soft, but very distinct knocks on your door. Canting your head to the side, you stood and steadily but cautiously crossed the room and made your way there. There were two more knocks, firmer and more urgent, just as you reached for the knob and you suppressed the urge to groan loudly. Impatient, much?  
  
When the door finally opened and you were face-to-face with Haru, you came to understand just how bad your luck really was. You were not subtle in the slightest; you nearly jumped out of your skin at the mere sight of him, and when his close proximity pulled some very uncomfortable flashbacks from the not-so-very-deep recesses of your mind, you backed away from him very quickly.  
  
As much as you hated to say it, you couldn't blame Haru in the slightest for his disturbed expression.  
  
"Wah-- Uh, Haru!" You said, voice wavering as your attempts to regain your composure failed. "I-- You--... You're here! Why-- Why are you here?"  
  
"I was told to check in on you," Haru replied as he stepped over the threshold without invitation, looking very much like he'd rather not enter at all, and removed his shoes. "You don't seem sick to me."  
  
"S-Sick? Why would I be--?" Oh, crap! That was the excuse you had made to--... Had you really forgotten that quickly?  
  
"Makoto said you felt sick. He also said you were supposed to text him, but didn't." He kept those piercing eyes fixed on you. You felt like his gaze was almost accusatory, so you looked away.  
  
"Yeah, I... forgot," you muttered, fully aware of how uncharacteristically meek you were being, but completely unable to do anything about it. "I'll do that now, so--"  
  
"Shouldn't you be in bed?"  
  
"Wha--? Haru, don't tell me you're going to start smothering me, too!" You retorted, your lascivious fantasies momentarily forgotten. "Makoto was bad enough. It was just a stomachache. I don't need you guys fussing over me--"  
  
"Your face is pale," he cut in sharply, and you knew it must have been, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything. Quite frankly, you weren't surprised in the least that his sudden appearance had caused the blood from your face to vacate for other areas of your body.  
  
Unable to argue with him when you knew he was right, you simply murmured, "Stop interrupting me..."  
  
"Have you lost a lot of blood?" At first, you simply stared at him. Waited for him to crack a smile (even a tiny one!) or admit that it had been a bad attempt at humor, but he merely stared at you with the same blas� expression he always had. Dear lord, he was serious.  
  
"Are you kidding me, right now? Do I look mortally wounded to you?" You frowned, hands on your hips.  
  
He didn't say anything for a few seconds, merely shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He seemed unable to hold your gaze any longer, so he looked to his left as if extremely preoccupied with something in your kitchen before finally saying:  
  
"That wasn't what I meant."  
  
"Then, what did you--" You went dead quiet as your brain computed what had seemed to be obvious to him. Blood. Stomachaches.  
  
Oh.  
  
"N-No! You've got it all wrong!" You denied vehemently, throwing your hands up in front of you as if to ward off the very notion.  
  
Haru shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
His asking hadn't been completely unreasonable, given that the last time he'd seen you so white had been in middle school, the first time you started. You'd been in so much physical discomfort that when Makoto had asked you what was wrong, you'd forgotten to be embarrassed and practically shouted that you were on your period. The memory of Makoto's pink ears and Haru's surprisingly disturbed visage would have made you laugh had you not been so flustered at the moment.  
  
You expected Haru to turn around and leave, having checked up on you like he'd been asked to and having no reason to linger, so imagine your surprise when he stepped past you and further into your home. He walked a few paces ahead of you, stopped, and turned around to look at you, leveling you with a suddenly serious expression. You felt your throat grow tight, and you struggled to swallow. You knew what he was about to say, whatever it may be, was no laughing matter. You perked up, ready to listen.  
  
"Go to bed."  
  
...You weren't sure what profound thing you'd been expecting. You drew yourself up, giving him your haughtiest glare. "What do I look like, four? You can't boss me around."  
  
"Sleep."  
  
"Make me." You narrowed your eyes as you dared him. He met your challenge without flinching, raising the phone in his hand--that was your cell phone! When had he picked it up off the floor!?--and unlocking it. "What do you think you're--"  
  
"I'll call your brother." Oh, no. The last thing you needed was for Itaru to think you weren't taking care of yourself. He'd take a day off and come down just to let you have it. And worse, you weren't even truly sick to begin with!  
  
"What? But--Haru!" But the swimming genius merely kept his eyes firmly trained on your phone, going through your contacts one by one until-- "Okay, okay! I'll go. Just--"  
  
He hit the lock button on your phone immediately. "Then, go."  
  
"I will. I just need to take a shower first, and then--"  
  
"No. Go now."  
  
You scoffed. "I am not going to bed without showering first. Would you go to bed without taking a bath first?" He opened his mouth to speak. "No, I didn't think so." His lips snapped shut, and you wondered if he was irritated. Haru was so difficult to read... unless your name was Makoto, of course. "So, you can go, now. I promise I'll go to bed immediately after showering, so--"  
  
"I'm staying."  
  
You wanted to scream at him, but opted for an annoying whine instead. "Why?"  
  
"You might pass out and crack your head open."  
  
The room went silent, and you stared at him, dumbfounded.  
  
"You'd die," he elaborated needlessly.  
  
You indulged in a few more seconds of stunned silence before you threw your hands up in surrender. "Fine. Stay. I'll be in the shower. Feel free to help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen," you muttered as you brushed by him, not willing to give him the chance to revel in his victory. You crossed the living room and entered your bedroom, closing the door behind you and leaving Haru to his own devices.  
\-----------------  
When you finally stepped out of the master bathroom in your pajamas, patting your hair dry with a towel and followed by a cloud of steam, it had been at least twenty minutes. You'd never been one for speedy cleaning, and the prospect of coming out and confronting Haru again had prolonged your shower even more. While standing around arguing with him had certainly helped take your mind off of what it had been about him that'd had you so flustered in the first place, when you found yourself alone your mind had gone right back to where it had been before.  
  
Sucking in a breath as you entered the living room, you prepared to kick Haru out onto his butt--and fast.  
  
"Okay, I'm all ready to go, so you can--," you began, but your words caught in your throat as you saw him: curled up in the corner of your couch, the same place you had been earlier, eyes shut and breathing deeply. A magazine that had previously been sitting on your coffee table was held loosely in his hands, and his lips were parted just slightly. With a great amount of effort, you redirected your gaze to his closed eyes and spoke softly. "Haru...?"  
  
He didn't respond.  
  
You quietly padded over to the couch and kneeled in front of him. "H-Hey," you whispered, unable to bring yourself to speak louder. "I'm the one that's supposed to be sleeping, remember?" Still nothing. You considered prodding at his cheeks as revenge for this morning, but although you liked the idea, you liked his sleeping face more. You leaned in closer, studying it. His surprisingly long lashes, his straight nose. His face was the most relaxed you had ever seen it. If your phone hadn't been on the kitchen counter, all the way on the other side of the room, you would have snapped a picture. You leaned in still closer while you could, as you knew Haru would never allow you to get this close to him on any other occasion, and caught a whiff of chlorine. His hair was just slightly messy, a sign that he had been at the swim club before stopping by.  
  
Against your will, your eyes traveled down his face and rested on his lips again. They moved ever so slightly, in-sync with the rise and fall of his chest, and despite looking a bit dry, they also looked soft. You wetted your own without thinking much about it.  
  
You nearly started when you realized you could just faintly feel his breath against your lips, and your own seemed to tingle in response. This was probably the closest you'd ever come--the closest you'd ever even consciously _thought_ about coming--and you moved in closer, wanting to feel it more. Your fists clenched tightly in the towel that had fallen into your lap, longing to touch his face but knowing it was a bad idea, but still you moved closer, closer--  
  
And jerked back the instant your lips made contact with his. Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart pounded against your ribcage. Your face was on fire, and it wasn't hard to guess why. You knew you should have gotten up and moved away from him then and there, but you'd never quite learned how to listen to that tiny voice of reason in your head. Wanting to feel his lips again, and wanting to feel them _better_, you shut your eyes and leaned in for a second time.  
  
They were warm, and a little dry, but definitely as soft as you'd hoped, you realized as your lips touched Haru's for a second time. You could feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy, and you were so nervous you didn't even dare to breathe. Your knuckles were white as you gripped the plush white towel even tighter, and after debating for a few seconds, you decided to press against him just a _little_ bit more.  
  
It was the wrong decision, apparently.  
  
His breathing, which had up until this point been steady and even, suddenly seemed to catch, and a second later his lips were gone from yours. Your eyes snapped open and had you not been frozen in abject horror, you would have run away.   
  
Again, you were learning all too late that it would have been better to follow your instinct. If you'd simply woken him up and sent him home, this wouldn't have--  
  
"______?"  
  
If you'd just been smarter, had just a little more self-control, then you wouldn't have to worry that your friendship with Haruka was about to end. You didn't understand him enough to be able to predict his behavior like Makoto. You didn't know how he would react, waking up to find someone he'd thought was a friend kissing him without his permission. Would he be angry? Disgusted? Both?  
  
After hesitating a moment, you finally looked up at him, vision clouding behind tears of both humiliation and fear.  
  
His position hadn't changed much, only he was sitting up a little straighter. He didn't look angry, or even confused. He merely looked... surprised, as he gazed down at you, back of his hand pressed over his mouth.  
  
Unable to hold the eye contact for any longer, you let your head drop back down, eyes on your lap.  
  
"You should... probably go," you said softly, the choked-up sound to your voice only adding to your embarrassment.  
  
"______," Haru repeated, surprisingly gently.  
  
"I'm sorry. I mean, I would go, but this is my house, and if I leave I won't have anywhere else to go, so I--"  
  
"I didn't--," he cut in, his own firm voice effectively extinguishing yours. There was a slight delay, before he continued. "I didn't mind." The sentence was an odd combination of tones; it had started out harsh before his voice suddenly dropped and his intonation became timid. You chanced another glance up. He wasn't looking at you. No, he was glancing to the side, the way he always did when he was embarrassed. And why shouldn't he be?  
  
Throat tight, you climbed to your feet and sat on the sofa as well, taking care not to sit too close to him. "I don't understand," were the words you forced out after a moment.  
  
Haru's mouth opened as if he were about to speak, but nothing came out. His lips hovered apart for a moment before reuniting, and he shifted in his seat for a minute. Finally, "I'm not saying it again." His face was turned so far away from you that you couldn't see his expression at all, but you could have sworn his ears were a little pinker than usual. "Just... ask first, next time."  
  
Ask? _Ask?_ That was all he wanted? No "don't do it again" or "stay away from me, you pervert"? You turned big eyes on him and scooted closer. With what seemed to take an unimaginable amount of effort on his part, he turned back toward you and lowered his brows, though his flushed face rendered the serious expression somewhat ineffectual.  
  
You swallowed past the lump in your throat. "Can I... do it again?"  
  
He immediately broke the eye contact in favor of concealing his face from you again. "No."  
  
You moved around restlessly for a minute, drowning in the dead quiet that followed before you dared to speak again. "How about now?"  
  
Haru didn't give you the satisfaction of seeing him blush this time. "You literally just did."  
  
"Yeah, but..." Your voice trembled under the weight of your sheer embarrassment, and it was almost enough to shut you up just to mask it. Almost. "I was just thinking that if I kissed you while you were awake, you might want to... kiss me back."  
  
There was no response from Haru.  
  
"I just--... I don't know, I... just thought that it would be nice."  
  
Your heart hammered against your ribs as you pondered whether to chalk Haru's lack of response up to reticence or denial, and you became so caught up in your momentary panic that you hadn't noticed him as he shuffled closer to you. When you turned to face him, only to find yourself nose-to-nose with him, you jumped. His eyes shifted down and his frown tightened in what was probably the closest thing you'd ever gotten to an apology from Haru.  
  
"I'm not good at it."  
  
You tilted your head at the admission, perplexed at his meaning. "Wha--_Oh_, you mean k-kissing?" You tripped over the word, and that alone was enough to turn your face scarlet. "What makes you say that?"  
  
"It isn't something that comes naturally to me," he said, and after a pause, he continued. "That's why I jerked away before, even though I didn't mind what you were doing." His jaw tightened, as if he thought he'd already said too much. Eager to set him at ease, you filled the ensuing silence.  
  
"Well, I don't know how to either! I mean, I know I kissed you and all, but that was my first time. Kissing anyone. It's not like I just go around kissing any boy that I see, you know. And--And if you really don't want to, we don't have to. We could just talk. Or if you don't want to hang around anymore, I won't force you to stay."  
  
"I didn't say anything about leaving," he responded almost shortly. He stared at the magazine that was still in his hands. The open pages were crinkled beneath his palms. "Unless you want me to."  
  
You sidled closer to him, keeping an eye out for any physical cues from Haru that he wasn't comfortable. He gave none. If anything, his shoulders seemed to relax a little. You hoped that was a good sign. "I'd really rather you stayed," you admitted, voice small and meek.  
  
"Why?" Haru still didn't meet your gaze, his eyes firmly trained on the periodical on his hands that you knew he wasn't really reading. Your stomach gave a little leap, and you wished to yourself that he wouldn't put you on the spot like this.  
  
"Because I--... I l-like you," you stammered out in a voice much higher-pitched than what it usually was.  
  
There was a pause. A really, really long, uncomfortable pause. Haru glanced at you, and glanced away. He glanced at you again, and then glanced back down. Slowly, _slowly_, starting from the neck and creeping up to his face, he blushed. He jerked his head away as if to hide this from you, but he must have decided it was futile, because he suddenly reversed his motions and stared straight ahead. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Finally, he broke the tense silence.  
  
"Why?"  
  
You deflated.  
  
"_Stop asking me why!_"  
  
Haru made a show of _slowly_ flipping the magazine closed and _slowly_ setting it back on your coffee table. Now he simply stared at his hands.  
  
"I thought--," he began, but he stopped as if the words had gotten caught in his throat. "You never seem comfortable around me. I didn't think--"  
  
"I get nervous sometimes because I--... Sometimes, I just can't tell what you're thinking. I don't know you like Makoto does. I really wish I did, but--..." At a loss for how to finish your sentence, you trailed off as well.  
  
"So, if you knew what I was thinking, then you'd be more comfortable?"  
  
"I'm never really _un_comfortable around you, Haru," you replied, teeth worrying your bottom lip. "But, I guess I wouldn't mind an occasional hint or cue. Especially in times like these."  
  
He glanced back at you again briefly, still pink in the face but not nearly the extent he had been a moment ago. A muscle worked in his jaw and you could practically see the wheels turning in his head.  
  
"I was thinking that... I wouldn't mind kissing you," he revealed. "But I think that I might be so bad at it, that you'd be disappointed. That kind of... makes me nervous." The last few words were almost like a whisper that he hadn't wanted you to hear, but hear it you did.  
  
"I'm scared of the same thing, you know. But we won't know unless we try," you offered.  
  
Haru acknowledged this with a small nod, but didn't make any indications of moving. Hoping to comfort him somewhat, you reached a hand out and laid it over his tentatively. He jolted slightly, as if you had shocked him, and turned your way. The two of you were shoulder-to-shoulder, closer than you had ever intentionally been, but instead of shying away from the contact Haru deliberately looped his arm in with yours and grabbed your hand. He stared down at your intwined fingers for a moment, as if he was studying his work, before he blinked and looked back up at your face.  
  
For a moment, he stalled and seemed unsure of what to do next as he watched you intently with his striking blue eyes. His tongue darted out and wetted his lips and, drawn by the movement, your eyes glanced down at his mouth. That seemed to be all the indication Haru needed to begin.  
  
He leaned in almost casually and his eyes fluttered shut. Your heart leapt into your throat and, though you wanted to keep watching him, you followed suit. You felt it again, his hot breath against your lips, and you knew he could feel yours. You wondered if it made him giddy, too.  
  
You felt his nose brush against yours, and he hesitated for just a second.  
  
"Haru?" You whispered.  
  
"...Your nose is cold," he whispered back, and you smiled as he nudged it a bit with his own. You nudged back. Haru exhaled and squeezed your hand before finally closing the gap between the two of you.  
  
Lips that were both soft and warm pressed cautiously against yours, and you earnestly returned the kiss. You felt his thumb brush over the back of your hand, and he held the position for a moment before breaking away. The kiss hadn't been long, or particularly passionate, but you felt breathless all the same.  
  
Your eyes flickered open, and you found Haru staring at you again, searching your face for a response. You could practically read his thoughts on his expression: "Did I do okay?" "Was it disappointing?" With your free hand, you reached out to him and cupped his cheek before asking a question of your own.  
  
"Can I--... Can we do it again?"  
  
A subtle movement of his head--was that a nod? You didn't have time to wonder, because before long he was lessening the distance between the two of you once again, and you closed your eyes on instinct. He kissed you again, short and chaste, but this time you followed after him when he pulled away. You felt a sharp intake of breath from him, and thinking you may have crossed a line, you panicked and withdrew.  
  
"Sorry", you meant to say, but the word was abruptly muffled by Haru's lips. His hand relinquished yours and buried itself in your hair, tugging you in closer and you couldn't suppress the tiny moan that formed in the back of your throat. You weren't sure what to do with your suddenly free hand, so it joined its twin and rested on Haru's unoccupied cheek. You used this new leverage to pull Haru's mouth even more snugly against your own, and the low hum you felt against your lips assured you that he didn't mind one bit.  
  
Now his lips were moving against yours, and the index finger of his left hand was tracing lazy circles on the small of your back through the thin cotton of your pajama shirt. For all his talk of being nervous, he certainly seemed to have forgotten it by now. His confidence had grown.  
  
You felt something slick and wet probe at your lips.  
  
His confidence had grown _a lot_.  
  
As much as you wanted to oblige him, this position was awkward and your back was absolutely killing you. You regretfully retreated, placing a gentle finger to his lips when he tried to chase after you. His eyes popped open, and you knew by the expression on his face that he thought he'd messed up.  
  
"Sorry," you breathed out, retracting your finger and offering him an apologetic smile. "It's just that my back kind of hurts when we sit like this."  
  
Haru leaned back, eyes trained on you as he considered what you said. "Mine, too."  
  
"You should have said something." He shrugged at this.  
  
Out of nowhere, he stood. The motion was so quick and so sudden that you jumped, but Haru was too busy loosening his tie to notice.  
  
Loosening his tie and looking damn good doing it.  
  
He pulled it off and laid it neatly on your coffee table before finally acknowledging you with an inclination of his chin. "You should lay on your back."  
  
"On my...," you echoed dumbly.  
  
"Your back."  
  
"Oh. 'Kay," you said much squeakier than you meant to. Haru had enough couth to pretend not to notice. Movements mechanical, you obeyed and laid down on your back, eyeing Haru with wide eyes. This didn't seem to faze him.  
  
"Are you comfortable?" You squirmed a bit, scooting upwards a few inches so that your head rested on one of the end cushions, before nodding.  
  
"Y-Yeah."  
  
You expected him to immediately climb on top of you. He didn't. Instead, he rested his weight on one knee next to your leg on the outside. He planted his hands on either side of your head and leaned over you.  
  
Your lips parted, but his name died in your throat. There it was, in his eyes. It was the same intense, focused expression from the previous night that you hadn't been able to forget. The memory of that dream swam to the surface of your mind and your body responded in kind. You felt a sudden rush of heat and excitement sweep over you, and you nearly trembled in anticipation as he came closer, closer...  
  
When you felt his tongue glance across your lips again, you didn't deny him. Your mouth opened to allow him access and there was only a brief moment of hesitation before the muscle surged in to meet yours. Haru moaned into your mouth at the contact. It seemed so out-of-character for him that it caught you off-guard and managed to turn you on even more. You responded with a quiet little moan of your own. He liked it. You could tell he liked it by the way his breath shuddered across your face.  
  
It was slow, purposeful, the way his tongue moved against yours. Soft, leisurely strokes, as if he was the more experienced one and was trying to ease you into it. Unsure of how else to go about it, you mimicked him, reveling in the strange but sweet taste that was uniquely Haru.  
  
You didn't notice that he'd slowly been easing his way on top of you until felt his hips settling right between your legs. The kiss was broken then, and when your eyes opened once again he was staring down at you, watching your expression carefully. His muscles were tensed, as if he was ready to spring off of you at the slightest indication that you weren't comfortable. It was sweet, and it made your heart flutter.  
  
"I think this comes a little _too_ naturally to you," you said with a small laugh.  
  
He frowned at that one. "Only because I know you so well."  
  
"I can't imagine how good of a kisser you'd be with Makoto, then."  
  
Haru's expression was nothing less than deepest horror. "I don't want to kiss Makoto..."  
  
"No, it was just... a joke," you said, and would have laughed again if Haru's lips hadn't come crashing back into yours. Whether he'd become impatient or was just trying to shut you up, you weren't sure, but you welcomed it nonetheless.  
  
His lips worked fervently and diligently against yours while his tongue teased your own with short, taunting caresses. Without thinking much about it, your arms wound around his neck and pulled him down closer to you. He picked up on the hint fairly easily and relaxed until he lay flat against you. Meanwhile, his arms snaked beneath your body and circled around your hips, pulling them up to his. This appeared to be too much for him, as he broke the kiss suddenly and made a strange sound. You tried to follow after him, to pick up where you left off, but he would only indulge you for a moment before pulling away again. Frustrated, you groaned and arched your body against his.  
  
The reaction was immediate. A sharp, sudden breath was sucked in between clenched teeth and Haru's body visibly shivered. This time, he was the one who arched, and his hips rolled right into a particularly sensitive area. The soft, light moan that came from Haru was drowned out by your sudden "ah!". He was taking deep breaths, as if he was trying to prevent himself from becoming too excited. It was already far too late for you.  
  
"That's really...," you breathed out, but left the statement half-finished.  
  
"Yeah," Haru responded.  
  
"I like it," you declared.  
  
Haru nodded in agreement, but stayed stock-still. So, thinking that perhaps he needed a bit of encouraging, you decided to try something new. You leaned up, just a little, and brushed your lips against the nape of his neck. The breath he released was shaky. "That's nice, too," he admitted under his breath. You hummed next to his ear before, as softly as you could, whispering his name directly into it.  
  
There it was again, that forceful, full-body shudder. But you didn't relent. You planted a tender kiss on his earlobe and trailed a single finger down the side of his neck. You moved your hips subtly against his.  
  
You were pushed back against the couch cushions as the full of Haru's weight pressed down on you. One of his hands was on the back of your head, pushing your face into the side of his neck, and the other was gripping your upper thigh tightly, ensuring that your lower regions were as close as they could get as he moved.  
  
And when he did move, you realized just to what extent you had turned him on. Your toying around with him had gotten him hard. Really, really hard. And feeling it moving against you in all the right ways got you going, too. You grinded against him, matching his pace after a minute, and--  
  
Oh, what the hell? You slipped your hands underneath his white button-up and ran them along the skin of his back, delighting in how you could feel his muscles tense and then relax with every roll of his hips. His skin was damp, just slightly more so in the small of his back where the sweat was starting to bead and collect. You couldn't see Haru's face, but you could hear him trying to stifle a groan behind tightly closed lips.  
  
He picked up the pace, and you couldn't match him thrust-for-thrust anymore. How good did this feel for him, you wondered? He seemed almost overwhelmed, and maybe he was; you were feeling overwhelmed yourself, being so completely surrounded by him and kissed by him and pleasuring each other. How must it feel for Haru, who has spent so much of his time separated from and misunderstanding other people?  
  
He said your name, and it sounded so desperate that you couldn't help but call back for him in return. You pulled back, out of the crook of his neck, before leaning forward and kissing him. He was eager to reciprocate, his breath fanning out forcefully against your face. The two of you kept pace for a couple of minutes and Haru's kissing became sloppier, and he gradually became more vocal, and that's when it hit you so fast that you practically had to yank away from his lips.  
  
"Hold it right there!"  
  
The sharp tone to your voice must have shocked him into submission, because hold it he did.  
  
"Haru, you're not--...," you cleared your throat. "You're not wearing your swimsuit under your pants, are you?"  
  
Haru hesitated. He hesitated far longer than you were comfortable with.  
  
"Oh, god, you are, aren't you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"_Haru!_"  
  
"I'm not," he insisted, voice firm if not a bit shaky. You narrowed your eyes at him, and he sat up onto his haunches. Your eyes became saucers as you realized he was unbuttoni--no, unzipp--oh, crap, he was wiggling out of his pants.  
  
He hadn't lied; he was wearing boxers. Boxers that left little to the imagination, but that had less to do with them being skintight like his swimsuit and more to do with the fact that they were very thin, and probably normally very loose. Not now, though. Not with the state Haru was in. The material was too thin, way too thin, and you could the outline of his member as it strained against the fabric.  
  
Haru must have noticed your staring because he suddenly whispered, very meekly: "Sorry..."  
  
Your head snapped up to meet his gaze. "No, it's fine! I was just... um... I guess you could say I was admiring you?" You flushed, and so did he. "You could take your shirt off, too, if you wanted. I-I mean, I wouldn't mind it..."  
  
He nodded. "Okay." And slender fingers that were normally so calm and steady fumbled with the buttons of his shirt until they were all open. He slipped it off of his shoulders and it joined his pants and belt on the floor next to the couch.  
  
"Haru, could you...?" His eyes met yours, and you bit your bottom lip and glanced down, tugging at the waistband of your pajama pants with your thumbs. He stared for a moment, dumbfounded it seemed, until it dawned on him what it was you were asking. His index and middle fingers hooked into the waistband at either side of your hips and tugged the pants down slowly. Your teeth dug harder into your lip as you watched his face, his eyes darting over your legs as they slowly became more exposed to them. He swallowed a few times, casually tossing the discarded clothing to join the pile next to the couch.  
  
Without saying another word--and not really knowing _what_ to say--you pushed yourself up with your hands until you were in a rather uncomfortable sitting position, before you began unbuttoning your shirt, starting from the collar. Haru watched you for a moment and must have decided that you were going slower than he would have liked, because he soon joined in from the bottom.  
  
"You don't have to do this," he murmured as he pushed the tiny buttons through their holes. "Just because I took my clothes off--"  
  
"N-No, it's fine! It'd feel too weird otherwise," you responded. Your hands brushed against his as you met each other halfway down your blouse. One button remained, and you took a deep, shaking breath. "I can get that one, so..."  
  
"No, let me," he cut in firmly, swatting your hands aside. Your face was hot and your head was fuzzy as you watched him finish the job. Hands with neatly trimmed nails and slim fingers that you thought could be put to better use elsewhere trailed down your body, from your collarbone to between your breasts, dipping into your navel before stopping just at the waistband of your panties. He eyed them, fingertips all soft touches and caresses, and you swallowed thickly. You weren't sure what you'd do if Haru wanted to strip you naked. Seeking a way to distract yourself, you made to shrug your pajama blouse off of your shoulders, but his hands shot to your upper arms, where they held the sleeves firmly before they could be displaced.  
  
"You aren't wearing anything under this," he said, eyes dipping down to your partially exposed breasts as if to call your attention to them. "Besides, like this, you look--..." His voice faded out, though, and he left the thought as it was. You didn't press him to finish, but instead traced the outline of his face with your fingertips, simply because you could. He indulged you right up until you touched his lips, and he seemed unable to restrain himself any longer.  
  
You bounced as you were suddenly pushed back against the cushions and you were beneath him once more, his lips possessing yours hungrily. You felt his knee nudging yours apart before his hips settled against yours for the second time, and he slowly rested his weight against you. You welcomed it, found it comforting even, because as much as you wanted what was happening, being so completely surrounded by Haru's presence doused the tiny twinge of fear you felt in the pit of your stomach.  
  
And then he ground himself against you, and you couldn't force back the moan you breathed against his lips. With so much less material between the two of you, it was a completely different sensation. You could feel the subtle curve of his cock, the tiny twitches it gave that were usually accompanied by a low groan from Haru when he moved in a way that felt good to him. It was hot, in more ways than one, and you flexed your hips up to reciprocate the movement if for no other reason than to feel him more. He let you know he liked it with a small nibble against your bottom lip.  
  
The two of you managed to build-up a steady rhythm again, but it didn't last for long. You broke away from the kiss because you needed air, and Haru's mouth moved its attentions to your neck. In a way that was disturbingly similar to his dream counterpart, he dragged his tongue over your pulse, closing the action with a gentle nip at the nape of your neck. His lips fluttered little kisses further and further upwards until he was breathing softly right into your ear. A whisper of something--was that your name?--before lips that were still a touch dry pressed tenderly against the shell of your ear. You shivered, gasps that weren't as quiet as you'd have liked escaping you as he angled his hips and you felt the ridge of the head of his member as it passed right over your clit. He felt it too, as was evident by the deep hum you felt vibrating against your ear. The pace was broken then, and you fell out-of-sync with him as his hips quickened unexpectedly into a rhythm you couldn't match.  
  
"Haru, I--," you managed to choke out, but the words that hadn't even begun to form properly in your mind were lost as Haru's right hand left its place next to your head and palmed one of your breasts. With his left arm supporting him, he pushed himself up and stared down at you, eyeing his hand as it kneaded gently. Eyes that were normally a shocking color of blue had pupils so dilated they almost appeared to be black, and his lids drooped down, teeth tugging at his bottom lip as if he was trying to concentrate. His thumb brushed over your nipple through your shirt and a sharp moan left your parted and swollen lips. When your eyes reopened and you found Haru drinking in your expression, your throat grew tight and you reached up to pull him down for another kiss. He obliged only for a moment before breaking away to return to his place by your ear while fingers that had adapted far too quickly to be normal toyed with your nipple.  
  
The pressure that had been building since Haru had walked into your apartment--no, since you woke up in his house this morning hot and aching for him--was coming to a peak, and you sort of felt like a volcano that was getting ready to erupt. You were like a spring being coiled tighter and tighter that might snap free any second. It was like you were standing on the edge of a cliff about to fall into nirvana, and maybe you could actually go over the edge if you weren't so distracted thinking of all these different euphamisms for "holy shit, I am about to come _so hard_".  
  
Delighting in the titillating exhilarations of voyeurism, you glanced down at where your bodies met, and your breath caught in your throat. All the movement had caused Haru's boxers to bunch up a bit around his hips, leaving the tip of his cock exposed. It was darkened and swollen and glistening from the clear liquid that seeped from it, and the sight of it was what finally sent you over that proverbial edge. Your arms around his neck tightened and you called out his name, hips bucking up harshly into his as the pleasure exploded through you. Your vision doubled and your toes curled and every push he gave against you sent another electrifying jolt through your body that ripped a cry from your throat, but he wasn't finished yet.  
  
You heard him growl low in his throat as his hands slid down and underneath your body and gripped your bottom tightly, forcing your hips more snugly against him, and he ground into you more frantically than he had thus far, as if he were in a rush to finish himself. His lips parted and he made no efforts to hide the loud moan that he sounded against your skin. Though your body was weak and shaking from your orgasm, you coiled your legs around his hips and pushed back against him, failing to match his tempo but trying anyway. His teeth against your neck and the desperate noises that you had never imagined him making told you that he appreciated the effort. Half-hearted attempts at coherency and shaking breaths that sounded vaguely like your name spilled from his lips amongst the heavy panting and airy moans.  
  
But soon enough, it was his turn to cry out as he gave one last heaving thrust against you and you felt something hot and wet coat your stomach--you didn't have to guess at what it was.   
  
Before you could think to stop him, he collapsed on top of you, effectively trapping his ejaculate between the two of you and wow, you could not have imagined a more unsexy way to end this escapade. You let him know you were displeased the only way your muddled thought process could think of, with a long, drawn-out whine.  
  
"...--I'll clean it up later," he murmured into your skin a few minutes later once his breathing began to even out.  
  
"When's that gonna be?" The hum he gave in response sounded suspiciously like "I don't know", and when he squirmed against you and you felt how slick it was between your bodies, you groaned in disgust. "Haru, this is really gross! I just showered and everything!"  
  
"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. His breathing was slowing down, and his voice was low and soft. "You can shower again later."  
  
"Later", again? "Look, Haru, I know you must be tired right now, but you can't just--"  
  
_Knock, knock, knock._  
  
Oh, fantastic.  
  
"You hear that?" You asked, giving a little push against his shoulders. "Someone's at the door, so now you _have_ to move. You can go sleep in my bed if you're really that tired."  
  
At that, Haru pushed himself up onto his elbows and gave you a stern look, though the effect was lessened somewhat by the punch-drunk edge to his expression. "What are you talking about?"  
  
_**Knock, knock.**_  
  
"Don't you hear that? Someone's knocking on the door!"  
  
Black eyebrows creased as he regarded you. "No one's knocking on the door, _____," he said, and you were just about to argue with him, when:  
  
"_____, are you home? It's Makoto."  
  
_Makoto!_  
  
Your eyes popped open, and without thinking you scrambled off of the couch and stumbled your way over to the door. Nearly tripping on the schoolbag you'd forgotten you'd left at the threshold, you promptly unlocked the door and flung it open. Makoto, who'd clearly been waiting nervously on the other side of it, jumped.  
  
You stared at each other for a long minute before Makoto broke the silence.  
  
"Sorry for dropping by unannounced, but you didn't text me and when I tried calling, you wouldn't answer your phone, so I--..." Got worried. The words hung unspoken between the two of you, and you mustered up your guiltiest expression.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just... It's Haru's fault. He--"  
  
"Haru?"  
  
"Ah, yeah..."  
  
Makoto tilted his head, clearly confused, and you chanced a glance back into your living room--  
  
But Haru was nowhere to be found.  
  
A heavy weight settled into the pit of your stomach. Abandoning Makoto at the door, you walked briskly back into the room, and then into your bedroom, but he was gone. In fact, there was no evidence that he had ever been there to begin with.  
  
And when you glanced down at yourself, you only just realized you were still wearing your school uniform. (Which, in all honesty, was definitely a good thing.) There was a small dark spot (probably drool--again) on one of the couch cushions propped against the arm of the couch, the one you had been curled up against when Haru had knocked on the door, and it suddenly fell into place for you.  
  
It had happened again.  
  
"_____?" You could hear Makoto call from the doorway. Slowly, numbly, you made your way back over to him. "Are you sure you're all right?" No. Not at all.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine! Just... forget what I said. I fell asleep, that's all," you murmured, eyes on the floor. You could feel the tears welling up, could feel the urge to cry in the back of your throat, but you held it back. You heard Makoto sigh out of his nose.  
  
"_____, you--," he began, before cutting off, as if he wasn't sure how to word what he wanted to say. After a moment, he picked back up. "We've been friends for four years. That's a long time, right?"  
  
"I--... Yeah."  
  
"So, I think--or I'd like to think, anyway--that I know you pretty well," he pressed on, and you could practically hear the gentle smile in his voice. "I thought that you've been acting strangely all day, and now you're obviously upset about something." You tensed up at his words, and you hated yourself for being so transparent. "_____, if you don't want to talk about it, then I won't make you. I just want you to know that if you _need_ to, I'm here."  
  
They were such simple words, and this wasn't the first time you'd heard them, but they broke the dam inside of you and the tears spilled out before you could stop them, faster than you could wipe them away. A whimper forced its way out, and when your felt Makoto's hands on your shoulders, you stepped closer to him and buried your face into his uniform shirt.  
  
"What am I going to do?" You heaved into his shirt between sobs. "I think I like Haru!"  
  
You felt him tense against you, heard the breath as he sucked it in, and after a few seconds of stunned silence on his part, he squeezed your shoulders gently. When you pulled away from his chest, face a total wreck, his expression was gentle but troubled. He smiled kindly at you.  
  
"Maybe we should talk about this inside..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Notes: aHAHAHA please don't kill me
> 
> That was particularly painful for me to write, and I almost didn't want to make it a dream simply because I worked SO HARD on the whole awkwardly-admitting-their-feelings thing and tried so hard to make Haru in-character (which if we're being honest is part of why this chapter was so slow-going) but... If everything went down that quickly, there wouldn't be much of a story, would there?
> 
> Anywho, as always, reviews are much appreciated! I can't tell you how many times I had to use everyone's reviews to motivate me while writing this!


	3. The Third Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your awkward behavior has not gone unnoticed by your friends in the swim club, who naturally make it their personal mission to cheer you up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original author's notes(also when I say "original" I mean the notes I wrote when it was published in 2013-15--not that I'm not the original author, cuz I totally am. ONLY I MAY LAY CLAIM TO THIS ABANDONED TRAVESTY OF A STORY):
> 
> Yeahhhhhh I finally updated! Chapter 3 was sitting in my files for a long time, but due to health issues I wasn't able to write for a while. Then my computer crashed. I thought I was able to save chapter 3, but I realized yesterday that I hadn't. So I worked really hard and wrote a new chapter three in a day. Sorry for the wait. It's been a tough time.  
This is pure character-building and me setting up plot and stuff so there's no smut. But the swim club is in this chapter! It's worth noting that when I began this story, only the first four episodes of Free! were out. Luckily I've been very slow to update so I can go ahead and make this post-season 1 (so I'll throw in Rin and stuff, too at some point) but PRE-season 2. This is simply because I didn't like season 2(except for Momo) and so I'll just be pretending it doesn't exist. Sorry!
> 
> Now that that long-winded boring stuff is out of the way, here's chapter 3! I hope it doesn't seem too rushed!

_I think I like Haru!_  
  
Your words had been something like a bombshell to Makoto, though as he lay on his bed, wide awake, he felt silly for not having seen it sooner. Even after he'd steered you back into your apartment and sat you down, you'd taken a long time to calm and when your tears had finally stopped you'd worn yourself out to the point of exhaustion. Still, between your sobs and desperate pleas for his help, Makoto had managed to decipher three things.  
  
First of all, that your feelings for Haru, regardless of how long you had actually harbored them, were freshly discovered. Secondly, that they absolutely terrified you. These two were made almost painfully obvious by your behavior all throughout this previous day, but the real cincher was the way that they nearly exploded out of you with nothing but a simple nudge on Makoto's part.  
  
And who could blame you, really? Although, at first, Makoto couldn't understand what there was to be so afraid of(it was only Haru, after all), when he stopped and really thought about it--... Swimming aside, one of Haru's supreme talents had always been his ability to close himself off from other people. It had never really been an issue for Makoto, who had always relied on more than verbal cues to assess Haru's intentions and thoughts, and while Haru had been steadily opening up since they swam the relay at prefecturals, he _did_ still have his moments where he could be surprisingly, though most likely unintentionally, cold. When he tried to put himself in your shoes, to imagine having feelings for someone he felt like he couldn't read at all, Makoto could almost imagine himself feeling as afraid as you seemed to.  
  
He rolled onto his side, long legs tangling in his sheets, and stared out into the empty blackness of his room. Though it had been hours since he'd heard your voice, the words still echoed around in his head. A quick glance to the illuminated digits of his alarm clock told him it was nearly midnight, and though he should have been long asleep by now he seemed to grow more restless with each passing minute. The room was silent save for a singular fan humming away on his nightstand(because Makoto couldn't sleep without the white noise) and the faint creak of the stairs beyond his bedroom door as his father finally climbed the steps, ready to turn in for the evening.  
  
There was still the matter of the last discovery Makoto had made, though to be frank, he wasn't sure what to make of it: your dreams.  
  
With a bit of gentle prodding, you'd admitted, eyes cast down in what seemed to be a look of shame, that you'd dreamt of Haru the night before and while you'd napped after going home early. You'd adamantly refused to elaborate more, though, and Makoto had reluctantly conceded. Though he couldn't deny his curiosity, he also knew he had no right to pry; dreams are very personal things, after all, and these are matters that needed to be handled delicately otherwise. It was safe to assume, however, that the dreams of him were what helped you to realize how you felt about Haru. What kind of dreams would make one question the way they saw a person?  
  
Makoto's throat tightened suddenly, and he decided he didn't want to speculate any further.  
  
He felt as though he'd been thrown off-balance. You weren't as close to Makoto and Haru as they were to each other, but when you spent time with them Makoto still felt as though the friendship between the three of you had been fairly equal. You'd never paid any special attention to either of them, had you? Was that why Makoto felt so blindsided by what seemed to be such a sudden confession on your part?  
  
He hadn't seen it coming, and now here he was, caught in the middle. He felt almost obligated to tell Haru what he'd found out, but though you'd never sworn him to secrecy he still felt as though blabbing about what you'd told him would be nothing less than a betrayal that bordered on the inhumane. He felt obligated to tell, but he also felt obligated to _not_ tell. No, it wasn't his _place_ to tell, of course.  
  
Yes, he would safeguard your secret. You and Haru were both his dear friends and he didn't want to see either of you get hurt, and if he ran his mouth he had little doubt the damage it would cause to your relationship. Now, there was only one question left to be answered.  
  
What _would_ he do about this?  
  
Flopping back onto his back, he squinted up at the ceiling and wondered if it was trepidity that was making his heart pound so wildly.  
  
\--------  
  
By the time 1 AM rolled around, Makoto was fearing that he'd be up all night, but somehow in the midst of his worrying and speculating, he'd managed to fall into an uneasy sleep. So uneasy, in fact, that when his alarm went off mere hours later and he dragged himself out of bed, he didn't feel as though he'd rested at all. Worse yet was that even though he'd unintentionally kept himself up so late he still felt that he had no idea of how to go about this situation.  
  
He was somewhat afraid that his involvement might only make matters worse, and that fear didn't dissapate--no, if anything, it worsened--as he only just managed to make it out the door in time to meet with Haru.  
  
Makoto knew by the look on his friend's face that Haru could immediately tell something was up. He tried to greet him, but his "'Morning!" was all but swatted aside by other boy's expression: furrowed eyebrows, tight lips, and a set jaw; anyone else would have mistaken him as being angry. Makoto knew better, and it would be a lie if he said he wasn't just the tiniest bit proud of his ability to translate Haru's expressions and see them for what they really were.  
  
_"You look like you're going to drop dead. This isn't like you. What kept you up last night?"_, his eyes seemed to say. Slapping on a practiced smile, ingenuine only because of how completely tired he was, he waved away Haru's concerns.  
  
"It's nothing to worry about. I just forgot about my homework until the last minute, so I was up a little later than usual," he lied. Haru seemed to reluctantly accept this, and so the two of them went on their way.  
  
A few moments passed. Though Makoto normally talked enough for the both of them on their morning walks, this time his mind happened to be elsewhere, thus a silence fell over them both that went completely unnoticed by Makoto until Haru spoke up.  
  
"You're quiet."  
  
"Ah--sorry," he replied lamely as his sluggish brain tried to find its bearings.  
  
He still hadn't decided how deeply he would get involved in this mess, but what he _had_ decided in the midst of all of his sleeplessness last night was that he couldn't just stand by and watch this train wreck, either. There was a chance that heavy involvement on his part could make matters worse, but a little nudge in the right direction couldn't hurt, could it? Especially since he knew the both of you so well; if left on your own, the situation would become a total disaster. He cared for you, but he couldn't deny that at times, you could both be unbelievably awkward.  
  
"I was just thinking about _____," he said suddenly, eyes trained on the ground and expression one of deep concern. "I went to her place to see her last night, but..." He trailed off, the words hanging in the air like a worm on a hook.  
  
Haru took the bait with zero hesitation. "What were you doing at her apartment?" His tone was completely flat, and unable to get a read on it, Makoto tore his eyes from the ground and focused them on his best friend. But that didn't work either, as Haru was turned away from Makoto, facing the sea.  
  
But how very strange _this_ was. Haru hadn't ogled the ocean that intensely since the swimming club had been founded(the pool had been the main object of Haru's attentions the moment they'd started cleaning it and forever onward), so that he would show sudden interest in it now made little sense. Makoto tried(and probably failed) to hold back a smile as he realized that this was Haru's way of trying to conceal his interest in the topic at hand.  
  
He'd always been like that when it came to you. Always he feigned indifference, but it was his own actions that spoke volumes for just how much he truly _did_ care for you.  
  
And yet, he felt a sudden rush of discomfort; Haru had so quickly snapped back at Makoto, and though there was nothing to be said about the tone of his voice, the way he'd worded his sentence had Makoto feeling almost as though he were being _accused_ of something. He tried not to let this show.  
  
"I knew you weren't listening when I mentioned it at swimming club yesterday afternoon," he muttered, an exasperated edge to his voice. "______ went home early because she wasn't feeling well, remember, Haru? You were the one who asked where she was to begin with."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then, what--"  
  
"You didn't tell me you would be going to her apartment." He said, refocusing his attention on Makoto.  
  
"I said something about it before we went home and you didn't say anything." This was not a lie. "I didn't think you were interested, and I wanted to hurry because she wasn't responding to my calls. I thought maybe something had happened."  
  
Haru's features tightened suddenly, but the expression was fleeting and was masked before Makoto could properly decipher it.  
  
He hadn't thought it was possible for him to feel more off-balance than he already did, but when the school gates finally came into view, his mind was reeling as he tried futilely to process what little he had gained from that brief conversation. Makoto had switched to a safer subject shortly after, and though Haru's behavior had for the most part returned to normal, there was still a tension and distance in his body language and words that Makoto wasn't sure what to make of, as if there was something nagging at him in the back of his mind.  
  
Interesting. A little off-putting, but interesting nonetheless.  
  
\-------  
  
You'd never recalled wanting to skip school as badly as today. As if the knowledge that things would undoubtedly now be awkward as all get out with Makoto wasn't bad enough, you'd been unable to get so much as a wink of sleep. You'd tossed, and you'd turned, but you'd never been able to clear your head enough to so much as doze off.  
  
But, uncomfortable or not, you knew if you'd stayed home Makoto would only feel further cause to worry. It was bad enough you'd stuck him in the middle of this; you wouldn't make him feel any guiltier than he did.  
  
Students gawked at you as you peeked surreptitiously around a corner not far from your homeroom. Both Makoto and Haru were fairly predictable; they always came to school together and the timing was almost like clockwork every single morning. And utilizing this information to serve your own purposes and ambush Makoto wasn't at all underhanded. You only hoped you were acting fast enough to keep him from spilling to his best friend!  
  
The pair was easy enough to spot as they emerged from the stairway at the opposite end of the hallway. You strained your eyes to get a good read on them. It didn't look too bad; Haru's expression was more or less normal, and while Makoto's smile seemed thinner than usual, there was no indication that he'd revealed anything. You allowed yourself to relax, just a little. Steeling yourself with a sharp inhale, you made your move, zipping over to the two and doing your best to smile as if there was nothing wrong.  
  
"Morning," you managed to greet in a somewhat cheery tone. Haru, who'd noticed your approach sooner than Makoto did, reciprocated. You felt the tension in your shoulders ebb away for a second. At first glance, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, but as you exchanged smiles and forced pleasantries with Makoto, you felt it.  
  
That is, you felt the point of Haru's glare as it pierced you right in the back of the head. Shakily glancing back at him, your worst fears were confirmed: narrowed eyes, icy blue and sharp as daggers, locked right on yours and their owner made no efforts to hide the irritation so clearly visible in those pupils and _Oh, god, what did I do to make him so angry at me!?_  
  
"Ah, _____," Makoto's voice cut the tension with an air so casual you might have wondered if he even noticed his friend's scowl. "Did you sleep at all last night? You don't look so good."  
  
You knew without even having to track down a mirror that you must have had bags under your eyes. After pulling an all-nighter you really couldn't hope for much better, so you laughed like it didn't bother you. "Oh, uh, no. I was just... studying," you said, fully aware of just how pathetic your excuse was, but given the circumstances it was the best you could manage. Seeking a change of subject, and fast, you turned to Makoto so swiftly that he started. "You know! You left that... thing at my house yesterday."  
  
"Ah?" There was absolutely no sign of comprehension on his face, so you grabbed the corner of his sleeve and tugged.   
  
"Come on! Let me... give it **back** to you," you said between gritted teeth, yanking smartly. Hesitantly, and probably because he had no real choice, he followed along after you. He cast one last troubled glance at Haru before being dragged around the corner at the end of the hall.  
  
Maybe it was the suddenness with which you'd grabbed onto Makoto and pulled him away, or the flimsy excuse you'd used to do so, or maybe it was because he just didn't feel like going in by himself, but even after the two of you rounded the corner away from him, Haruka lingered in the hallway. With no one to speak to and nothing to say besides, he stared at the spot you'd previously been.  
  
\- - - -  
  
Oh, this was even worse than he'd anticipated. And Makoto felt a bit ashamed to admit it, but he'd honestly thought from the get-go that he had his work cut out for him. However--  
  
He glanced down at you, crouching and hugging your knees looking like you didn't have a friend in the world.  
  
"Did you see the way he was glaring at me?" You muttered quietly. "He's mad at me, and I don't even know why." Makoto blinked at you before your words sunk in. Smiling blithely, he placed a hand on your shoulder in reassurance.  
  
"Haru just doesn't like when the people he cares about don't take care of them_selves_," he said, giving a firm squeeze. "It was coming from a good place."  
  
Your head dropped, teeth gnashing your bottom lip and for a brief second he thought you truly looked lost. "I don't know what to do about this," you admitted after a moment. "I--... I don't know what he's thinking or, or feeling... ever. I don't even know if he even likes me at all or if he just doesn't know how to get rid of me--"  
  
"It's not like that at all," Makoto said, more passionately than he'd expected to. He swallowed, and added a bit more quietly: "You're our friend, ______. I know Haru thinks so, too."  
  
You didn't respond, preferring instead to keep your eyes on the ground, and Makoto was sure he'd never felt more awkward in the entirety of his life. When he thought about how this was only the beginning, he felt a sense of dread creep into the pit of his stomach. Still, it was impossible to consider backing out now, not when you looked so defeated and heartbroken already.  
  
_Too late for second thoughts..._ Sucking in a deep breath, he managed to restore that thoughtful smile just as the warning bell rang. Patting your shoulder again to get your attention, he did his best to hearten you. "Don't waste your time worrying about it. I--..." For some reason, he hesitated. "I'll do my best to help. But, in the meantime--"  
  
"The meantime...?"  
  
Something between a sigh and laugh forced its way out of him. "Just... try to stay calm."  
  
\- - - -  
  
"Ehh? So does this mean you're not sick anymore, ______-chan?" Was your Nagisa Hazuki-issued greeting when you arrived at the Iwatobi High pool later that afternoon. One arm folded over the edge of the pool and the other pulling his goggles off, he gazed at your approaching form with an almost sullen expression.  
  
"What's with that face? Do you _want_ me to be sick?" You said, a bit affronted--and a bit confused, to be frank. Though you'd never pretended to understand Nagisa. Gou--or as she would have you call her: Kou--Matsuoka forfeited her staring match with a somewhat-new training regimen to beam at you.  
  
"Actually, we were talking about stopping by your home to visit you if you still weren't feeling good," she elaborated, face dropping as if she too had been looking forward to it before quickly reversing back into a cheerful grin. "Of course, we'd much rather see you here! Right?" She turned to Nagisa.  
  
"Right!" He cheered in agreement before being called back to his sets by Makoto and Rei. You turned back to Kou, but seeing that she'd become engulfed back in her papers, you left her alone and wandered over to the far right corner of the pool. This was Haru's space. His lane that he kept to when he would rather swim languidly than power through the water to train himself.  
  
This was also the corner you sat at the most.  
  
You froze midstep, unsure of what to do. Would you even be able to conduct yourself in a normal manner if you were trapped into speaking with him? Haru wasn't an idiot. Just like Makoto had told you, if you didn't learn to be more subtle, he was going to suspect something. You didn't know what that something was, but he would suspect it. And you didn't want him suspecting anything to do with you anytime soon if you could help it.  
  
"______."  
  
Haru's voice brutally slapped you out of your reverie and you jumped. To be more precise, you leapt about two feet backward before falling on your butt, and you weren't sure why, but you apologized for it.  
  
You deserved the baffled expression he gave you in return. A moment passed before it occurred to Haru to ask after your welfare.  
  
"Are you okay?" he said plainly, climbing out of the pool.  
  
"Of course," you responded immediately, for once trying not to notice the way the sun glinted off the water clinging to and streaming down his muscles. "I'm made of sturdier stuff than this!" You gave the pavement beneath you a smack.  
  
"Not likely," was his frank reply. You smiled at such a typical response from him, accepting his hand when he offered it to you, even though it was a bit damp. Kou rushed over with a towel, which she handed off to Haru.  
  
"Good work, today!" she said with a smile, just as she always did. You turned to Haru.  
  
"You're not done already, are you?" you asked him, watching as he toweled his hair dry with a nod.  
  
"We've been at it for a while," Kou said in an unfocused sort of way. She was watching Rei intently, sparing the regimen in her hand a glance every minute or so. With a start, you did realize that the sky was darkening steadily. You had only just arrived, but they'd been practicing for a good amount of time. If you were going to show up, you usually did much earlier, but it had taken a lot of psyching yourself up to even make an appearance today. _At least I don't have to hang around him while he's half-naked for long_, you comforted yourself.  
  
"So, hey, ______-chan!" Chirruped Nagisa a few moments later, when the rest of the Iwatobi Swim Club were hoisting themselves from the pool. You glanced over just in time to see him sling a wet arm over Rei's equally soaked shoulders. "Rei-chan and I were just thinking--"  
  
"I wasn't--!"  
  
"Since you're not sick anymore," Nagisa pressed on as if Rei hadn't protested. You felt a pang of guilt once again for your feigned illness. "We should celebrate--at your house, of course!"  
  
"Oh, of course," you laughed. You considered it for a moment, before shrugging. "Sure, why not!" The extra company might do you good. Rei, though he doubled over slightly to accommodate Nagisa's height as the latter continued to hang from him, peered at you with a look of concern.   
  
Ever the voice of reason, he spoke. "Are you feeling up to it, __(l/n)__-senpai?"  
  
"Yeah, we can wait," Nagisa said, voice and expression suddenly matching Rei's, and you began to feel a bit smothered. You waved your hands in denial.   
  
"I--no, now's fine!" You shot a slightly annoyed expression to Makoto, who was drying off his own hair, turned away from you(_Nice back, though_, you thought.). What the heck had he said to everyone that they were so worried like this? It's not like you'd even missed school over it. As if he could sense your gaze on him, Makoto turned and locked eyes with you for a moment before turning away suddenly and making for the locker room.  
  
\- - - - - -  
  
You didn't know Nagisa very well. He hadn't attended the same middle school as you, Makoto, and Haru, so while you'd heard mention of his name now and then you'd never had the pleasure of getting to know him yourself. And it was a pleasure, because boisterous though he tended to be, Nagisa always meant well and always had the interests of his friends at heart. He was definitely a people-pleaser, and he seemed unusually intuitive about those around him. Sometimes.  
  
Despite having this worked out, it still didn't occur to you at the time that Nagisa might have sensed your anxiety. It didn't occur to you, either, that he might have been trying to cheer you up and wasn't just looking for an excuse to party. Still, though, you appreciated whatever force that allowed you to spend time with Haru without reminding you of last night's dream.  
  
By the time enough snacks for everyone had been picked up on the way and the six of you filed into your humble home, the sun was well beyond set. More shoes than you'd seen in a while piled up in front of your doorway and at your urging, the swim club made themselves at home. Nagisa plopped onto your couch so hard he bounced off of it while Gou laughed. Rei straightened your coffee table that had been knocked askew by Nagisa's tumble before chiding him, and Haru had disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
You stood awkwardly next to Makoto, afraid to look at him but sure he must be remembering the last time the two of you were here together. Your stomach twisted and you felt the urge to apologize to him. He'd been dragged into this mess, and it was all your fault. You couldn't say anything in front of the others, but soon--  
  
You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder, coaxing you inwards. "Aren't you going in?" You turned to Makoto and was surprised to find him smiling. "We came here for you, after all." You looked between him and the others. Was he honestly handling the situation that well?  
  
"But, I-- You--," you began to protest, though you weren't sure exactly why, when a smell wafting from the kitchen stopped you in your tracks. The two of you looked at each other for a second. "Excuse me," you grumbled. Makoto smiled knowingly before you turned sharply to the left and stalked into the next room.  
  
"You're always using my kitchen for something!" You griped, storming over to Haru's side. Haru, who was rather preoccupied with the extremely predictable mackerel fillet frying away in the pan, only spared you a glance. "That's my job! _I'm_ supposed to make food for my guests in _my_ house. You're too used to entertaining, Haru." If that was what you could call it. You reached for the pan, but Haru pulled it from your reach. You scoffed. "I won't burn it."  
  
"It tastes fine burnt," he said coolly, but still keeping it well away from you.  
  
"You _would_ say that," you fought back a smile. "Well, let me help." Haru didn't lower the pan, but just continued to look at you. Under the heavy weight of his stare, you buckled a bit and turned away, hoping your cheeks weren't as pink as they felt. "What? Is there something on my face?"  
  
"Makoto was here last night." It wasn't a question, but there was still a note of uncertainty in there that you weren't used to hearing from Haru, like he was asking you if it was true. It felt like the bottom of your stomach dropped; you hadn't expected him to know, for some reason, and though you hadn't done anything wrong you still felt guilty.  
  
"I--yeah, but..."  
  
"He said it was because you weren't answering your phone," he said slowly.  
  
"Th-that was my fault," you lowered your gaze. "I told him I would answer, because I wasn't feeling good, and he would worry, you know, and--"  
  
But Haru didn't seem to be paying attention anymore. He set the pan back on the burner and gazed intently at the fillet as if he expected it to tell him something you couldn't. When your stuttering had died off, he simply said, "I'll cook everything else, too. It's fine."  
  
"But--..." Feeling thoroughly confused by his behavior and a little upset that he hadn't even acknowledged your words, you reached again for the pan, but this time he jerked it away with a stern look at you.  
  
"Just rest." He said firmly, looking suddenly away from you. "Forget it."  
  
More than ever, you wished you could understand what was going on in Haruka's head and why he suddenly had you feeling as if you'd done him wrong. Your spirits effectively crushed, you did as he asked and left him.  
  
Back in your living room, Nagisa was poring over an advertisement for pizza delivery on your coffee table that had once been stuck to your door not long ago. He closed his eyes, raised his hand high in the air, and then with a flourish, pointed randomly at a spot on the page. Kou bent over the table to see where Nagisa had pointed.  
  
"It's the one with four different kinds of meat!" She declared. Nagisa opened his eyes, a look of pure rapture on his face, before Rei abruptly pulled the ad out from under Nagisa's index finger.  
  
"Why would we order pizza after all the food we bought earlier?"  
  
"To wash it down with?"  
  
Makoto noticed you then, standing forlornly in the entryway while his underclassmen laughed on. "______?" At your name, they all went quiet and turned to look at you. It was only because Makoto had called attention to you, and they were probably still worried you were sick, but the sudden scrutiny was too much for you, and right now you'd give any amount of money just to have a minute to yourself. Or to be invisible. Haru had been indignant or cross with you before now, but he had never completely disregarded you. You didn't want to be upset in front of the others, so you took a step backwards.  
  
"I, uh... forgot something I need at the store," you mumbled lamely, turning and walking to your front door before any of them could respond. You'd shoved your shoes on and made it out the door, halfway down the hall before your door opened again.  
  
"_______," Makoto repeated, chasing after you. He caught up quickly due to his long stride, and again you felt his hand on your shoulder. "What is it?"  
  
"It's nothing," you lied, unable to turn to look at him. "I just... need to go to the store."  
  
There was a heavy silence between the two of you. You were frustrated--mostly with Haru, partly with yourself--and you felt like all you wanted right now was space to think about everything. But you didn't want to send Makoto away, either. You wanted to be alone, but you needed help, and he was the only one who could give it to you. More than that, Makoto had always had such a comforting air about him.  
  
His hand stayed where it was, but he spoke quietly. "Then, I'll go with you." You felt a mix of relief and trepidation wash over you. What would Makoto have to say about Haru's actions?  
  
\- - - - - - -  
  
"And then he was just like 'forget it'," you groused, deepening your voice for effect at the end. Now that the two of you were outside and away from prying ears, you complained as loud as you wanted and felt good doing it. Makoto, as always, was a stellar listener and near the end he rubbed his chin deep in thought. "I don't get it. Is he mad I didn't answer the phone or something? It's not like _he_ was the one calling." You glanced at Makoto for his reaction and was surprised to find him frowning. This made you nervous, so you prodded his arm. "What? Did you think of something?"  
  
"Well, I wasn't there, so it's hard to say," he said in a very hesitant voice. "This morning, he acted kind of--..." He paused, and more silence filled the space between you two as you walked. "I don't normally visit you without him."  
  
"So, what? You think he was feeling left out or something?" You scoffed, though this thought did make you feel marginally better. "What a baby. I see him without you all the time, and you don't get all grumpy."  
  
Makoto said nothing, but you were too distracted by your arrival at your destination to notice. Rather than go all the way back to the market, you chose instead to stop at a local convenience store a few blocks from your house. As you hadn't really needed anything when you used the excuse to leave the house, you wandered around for a moment trying to decide what would justify your needing to leave suddenly after dark.  
  
In the end, you decided that milk was probably the safest option. Makoto seemed to agree, so that was good enough for you. Within four minutes, you had your purchase and was exiting through the automatic doors with Makoto at your side. You started off when Makoto suddenly grabbed your arm.  
  
"Here, I'll--," he reached for the one bag you were carrying. Before you could protest, he pulled it gently from your hands and smiled awkwardly. "Don't worry about it," he said in response to the look on your face. "Shall we?" He was hard to argue with in his own way, so you ended up giving in and falling in step beside him.  
  
"You and Haru both," you sighed. "Soon I won't know how to do anything by myself!"  
  
Makoto laughed lightly. "It's _because_ you do everything yourself that we have to be so stubborn," he said matter-of-factly. "Though I will admit it comes more naturally to Haru than it does to me."  
  
"Nobody's got Haru beat in the stubborn department."  
  
"Are you sure? Rin comes pretty close."  
  
"Does he? I've only met him a few times now, so I don't know him that well," you replied, swinging your arms. "Haru seems to like him a lot, though."  
  
"You will, too, once you get to know him better," Makoto assured you.  
  
"I believe it," you said, before the two of you fell quiet again. It was only after the two of you walked another block that Makoto spoke up.  
  
"_____, you--," he started, but then stopped as if debating with himself whether to continue. "Why do you like Haru?"  
  
Your heart gave a great thump. You turned to Makoto quickly, stopping in your tracks. Your eyes met, and it was the first time that you ever felt him staring at you so hard, as if he were trying to read you the way he did Haru.  
  
"I don't know why," you said honestly. "But, I--" You broke off, looking down, unable to bear the weight of his gaze anymore. "Is it bad that I wish it would go away?" you asked in a quiet voice. "I mean, there's no guarantee he'll feel the same way, right?"  
  
"______," he murmured, but said nothing more.  
  
"What if this ends up ruining our friendship?" You wrung your hands. "More than him not liking me back, that's what I'm really afraid of. It's okay if he doesn't like me back; I just want things to stay like this..." You hung your head. "I'm sorry," you said on reflex.  
  
"Why are you apologizing?"  
  
"Shouldn't I? I dragged you right into the middle of this." You saw him set the bag on the ground before feeling his hands grasping your shoulders again.  
  
"______, I'm here because I want to be," he said kindly. You looked up at him. "You and Haru are my friends. I want to help you. As for Haru--" His serious face relaxed into a smile. "He isn't the kind of person who would shut you out, even if he didn't like you back. It may not seem like it, but Haru likes how things are right now, too." You tried to smile back, but it probably ended up looking more like a grimace.  
  
"Well, if you ever decide you want out, just tell me," you sighed as Makoto retracted his hands. "I won't hold it against you or anything. I know you're in an awkward position right now." Watching as he retrieved the bag from the ground, you bit your lip as if expecting him to suddenly change his mind. He just chuckled a bit.  
  
"I'm fine," he said, waving his hand absentmindedly as he resumed your slow pace, you trailing along uncertainly behind him. "You seem like you're struggling a lot more than I am, actually." It was hard to disagree with that, so you didn't. Instead, you asked him with thinly-veiled eagerness:  
  
"So, what's the plan then?" You sped up so that you were walking at his side again.  
  
"Plan?" He asked, as if he had never heard the word before in his life.  
  
"Well, you gotta have a plan!" You looked at him incredulously. "You weren't thinking about winging it, were you?" Makoto was talented at many things, but you had an inkling he would be just as bad as you when it came to improvising where Haru was concerned. He may know Haru best, but the freestyle-focused prodigy's behavior had hardly been what you'd call "predictable" lately.  
  
"I guess that would be too risky...," he admitted, apparently having reached the same conclusion as you after a moment's thought. "We'll have to come up with something," he said carefully, and then, after a pause: "It's... probably best if we just keep this between us. The fewer people know, the less chance Haru will find out."  
  
"I bet Nagisa would come up with a really great plan," you bemoaned. "Too bad I don't really trust him with my secret."  
  
"Nagisa would never _deliberately_ tell Haru," Makoto said. "But, yes, there is a chance he might slip up."  
  
"Well, whatever we do, we don't have time to do it tonight," you remarked as you two turned a corner and your apartment building came into view. "How about tomorrow after school?"  
  
Makoto considered this before answering. "I'll come after walking home with Haru," he said prudently. "The less he suspects, the better."  
  
Given Haru's apparent dislike for being excluded, you thought this was a very smart idea. It'd be hard to win him over if he thought you and Makoto were sneaking around without him. Feeling slightly more secure over your travesty of a first love and extremely grateful for Makoto's assistance, you punched in the resident's code in a keypad by the building's front entrance and entered through the glass doors that slid open.  
  
Up in the elevator and down the hallway to your door you went, to find a bizarre mismatched sort of feast strewn about on your dining table, with Haru's traditional cooking in one spot, various and assorted junks foods in another, and a pizza(another victory for Nagisa) in its open box taking up the rest of the space on your dining table. Strange? For high schoolers, no. Unhealthy? Absolutely, but you didn't mind helping yourself to some of everything, especially since the company was so great. Nagisa had a promising career as an entertainer, in your opinion, as he always had something funny to say or an interesting story to tell. Kou was always interested to share her new ideas to improve times and Rei would listen attentively and provide suggestions of his own. You were no swimmer, but Kou made you feel as though being manager might be a lot of fun. Even Haru seemed to have gotten over whatever was bothering him, as his behavior towards you had seemed to return to normal.  
  
Rei was the one who snapped everyone back to the real world with a loud clearing of his throat. "I still have homework to do tonight, so I'll be leaving first." He stood and smiled at you before bowing. "Thank you for your hospitality."  
  
You bowed back. "Thanks for coming. It was fun." Makoto got to his feet as well.  
  
"It is late," he agreed. "Let's let ______ get her rest." He encouraged the others, giving you a fleeting but meaningful look. The first years reluctantly conceded and after farewells and goodnights, they too were out the door.  
  
"Well then, see you tomorrow," Makoto said cheerily when he and Haru were leaving themselves. "Sleep well."  
  
"Don't stay up too late," Haru told you.  
  
"I won't," you replied in your best "yes, mom" voice. "How could I when you wear me out so much?"  
  
"Don't skip breakfast in the morning."  
  
"I'll try," you stated noncommittally. "Don't forget to get out of the bath and go to school tomorrow morning," you quipped, but Haru's poker face was not so easily defeated. Makoto smiled and even you could see that he was considerably more relaxed in comparison to earlier. The return of Haru's usual behavior came as a relief to not only you but Makoto as well, it seemed.  
  
Smiling genially, he waved. "Good night, then."  
  
"See you, ______," Haru said with a small smile of his own. Feeling completely reassured, you smiled back.  
  
"See you guys tomorrow!" You bid, and once they were gone, you shut yourself back in.  
  
Haru's warning to turn in early hadn't really been necessary; after your all-nighter last night and a day like this one, you couldn't have stayed up if you'd tried. On that thought, a loud yawn forced its way out of you that you didn't bother to try and stifle. With a stretch of your arms above your head, you returned to your dining table and began clearing it of empty dishes and trash. Then, longingly thinking of your bed the entire time, you showered and dressed in your pajamas.  
  
Back in your kitchen for one last drink before you went to bed, you pulled open the fridge, but something out-of-place caught your eye before you could grab the water bottle you kept in there. Pulling the unfamiliar container out, you eyed the note stuck to the top of it:  
  
_Dinner for tomorrow_  
  
There was no more elaboration, but at the sight of the fish and rice stored inside, there didn't need to be; this was definitely the sort of thing Haru would do. You drank from and refilled your bottle with a big smile. Feeling lighter than you had all day, you sank into bed with high spirits. Everything was just fine, you thought. What had you been so worried about? Haru was back to normal, you hadn't had to spend most of your night alone, and tomorrow night you and Makoto would be coming up with a more concrete strategy for winning him over. Things seemed like they would work out.  
  
You flopped onto your side with a content sigh, and feeling as though nothing could possibly get you down, you finally managed to fall into a heavy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Author's Notes: Wow, what a nice, happy ending... WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG????
> 
> This chapter was 100% a rush job, and it shows, and I'm sorry about that. I keep reading it over and finding dumb lines that need to be fixed, so I fix them, so the chapter is kind of constantly updating itself. It's just been so long that I needed to just get this posted. I promise a chapter less rough-around-the-edges next time(2019 comment: LOL next time. I had such a sense of humor! jk i still have it around here somewhere). And a more solid swim club because it's been ages since I've actually watched Free! and I need a character refresher. And also since I forgot Amakata-sensei whO SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE POOL SCENE..... And please look forward to Rin's eventual appearance.


End file.
